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    • "When I was young I learned that "please" was the magic word, then when I was older I learned that "abra cadabra" was the magic word.

      Then I learned that the two are never interchangeable."

      "And for you sir?"
      "Yes, I'll have the grilled cheese with tomato abra cadabra"

      -Demetri Martin
      Dogs are excellent judges of character, this fact goes a long way toward explaining why some people don't like being around them.

    • stay away from atlanta tonite! i sure am.

      in addition to our normal lousy traffic at rush hour, tonite we got...

      braves game,
      georgia tech football game,
      atlanta falcons football game,
      vp biden in town to give a speech,
      dragon con,
      some kinda black gay pride festival, and
      its raining.

      this could rival freaknik of years past when the interstates would get jammed so they all got out of their cars and danced on the interstate. total frickin gridlock.
      2,000 miler

    • max.patch wrote:

      stay away from atlanta tonite! i sure am.

      in addition to our normal lousy traffic at rush hour, tonite we got...

      braves game,
      georgia tech football game,
      atlanta falcons football game,
      vp biden in town to give a speech,
      dragon con,
      some kinda black gay pride festival, and
      its raining.

      this could rival freaknik of years past when the interstates would get jammed so they all got out of their cars and danced on the interstate. total frickin gridlock.
      On one of our trips to Atlanta to visit sister in-law we got outta town before freaknik hit it's peak, went up to Dalonega. When we got back the place was a mess, and the news papers reported one bride and groom missed there own wedding day as the city was grid locked...and ambulances couldn't even get to folks in need, a real bad scene.

    • rafe wrote:

      I feel for you, max. When Obama comes to town I can't fly my model airplanes. Seriously.
      I've a sister who vacations on Marth's Vineyard, couple weeks ago the pres was there, his family vacations there too. What a mess she said, they are constantly closing down areas and rerouting traffic to accommodate this jamoke...makes it a little hard to plan your day if your going anywhere but the beach.

    • I'd like to think that their level of precaution is paranoid, but given the crazies in the world that they have to deal with, I'm not sure I can blame them.

      Living and working in Southern CT, every sitting president and most major candidates make usual rally/fundraising stops in Greenwich, New Canaan, Stamford, Bridgeport, at The Sikorsky factory in Stratford, the Sub base in Groton and the Coast Guard Academy. It's infuriating to deal with while it's happening since they often shut down I-95, the Merritt parkway, block major roads in the city centers and delay my ability to get to train stations and work. I actually have to keep a lookout for it so that I can adjust my commute accordingly.
      Dogs are excellent judges of character, this fact goes a long way toward explaining why some people don't like being around them.

    • max.patch wrote:

      stay away from atlanta tonite! i sure am.

      in addition to our normal lousy traffic at rush hour, tonite we got...

      braves game,
      georgia tech football game,
      atlanta falcons football game,
      vp biden in town to give a speech,
      dragon con,
      some kinda black gay pride festival, and
      its raining.

      this could rival freaknik of years past when the interstates would get jammed so they all got out of their cars and danced on the interstate. total frickin gridlock.
      Also the other parades; World of Warcraft characters, Anime costumes, D&D costumes, etc.
      --
      "What do you mean its sunrise already ?!", me.

    • Once upon a time, when I was a child, my school took a field trip for something (I honestly don't remember where we were going) to Atlanta. It was very educational as no one was aware or counted on there being a bus full of kids, stuck in the middle of Freaknik on I-85.

      I do not miss living down there. It's the only place I've been so far, where leaving your house five minutes late, translates to an hour late for your destination.

      The president pissed off a lot of hunters and bush pilots during his three day visit up here in the Last Frontier. He managed (though I doubt seriously it was intentional) to ground many of the planes during the first days of duck season due to the no fly zone corridor required around him.
      “Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.” - T. S. Eliot

    • max.patch wrote:

      braves game,
      georgia tech football game,
      atlanta falcons football game,
      vp biden in town to give a speech,
      dragon con,
      some kinda black gay pride festival, and
      its raining.

      So, Biden is dragon his ass to an Atlanta Tech game to con a bunch of Brave gay blacks because the Falcons game got rained out?

      :D
      *

      For once I'd just like to hear myself say, "Great job, self! Why don't you just take the day off."

    • max.patch wrote:

      stay away from atlanta tonite! i sure am.

      in addition to our normal lousy traffic at rush hour, tonite we got...

      braves game,
      georgia tech football game,
      atlanta falcons football game,
      vp biden in town to give a speech,
      dragon con,
      some kinda black gay pride festival, and
      its raining.

      this could rival freaknik of years past when the interstates would get jammed so they all got out of their cars and danced on the interstate. total frickin gridlock.
      the Braves game is in Washington tonight. However, if it was being played in Atlanta it would only add about a dozen or more cars to the traffic problem. Yes, they suck that bad....
      RIAP

    • I saw the Bryson movie. It wasn't so much about the AT. I don't think they showed much of the AT. It was more about a walk in the woods and when you are in the woods, you miss your home and family and when you get home you miss walking in the woods and so on and so on. That's why they don't pay me to be a movie critic.

      Nick Nolte was funny.

    • A little humor...
      At breakfast, the husband asked his wife, "What would you do if I won the lottery?"
      She replied, "I'd take half and leave you."
      ... "Great," he said. "Here's $6. I won $12 yesterday. Stay in touch."
      Changes Daily→ ♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫ ♪♫♪♫♪♫ ← Don't blame me. It's That Lonesome Guitar.

    • Trebor wrote:

      max.patch wrote:

      stay away from atlanta tonite! i sure am.

      in addition to our normal lousy traffic at rush hour, tonite we got...

      braves game,
      georgia tech football game,
      atlanta falcons football game,
      vp biden in town to give a speech,
      dragon con,
      some kinda black gay pride festival, and
      its raining.

      this could rival freaknik of years past when the interstates would get jammed so they all got out of their cars and danced on the interstate. total frickin gridlock.
      the Braves game is in Washington tonight. However, if it was being played in Atlanta it would only add about a dozen or more cars to the traffic problem. Yes, they suck that bad....
      Yeah, but they are gonna get some great draft picks. :D
      The road to glory cannot be followed with much baggage.
      Richard Ewell, CSA General

    • So today I spent time driving and walking around with the "Bag Lady".
      2007 AT 2000 miler and friend of a friend with Violet B.
      She is cycling the world on a 3 wheel recumbent bike.
      Originally from Rochester New York.
      She came to Oz on 1st March from New Zealand. Cycled from Melbourne to Longreach in Queensland.
      Arrived in Perth by plane from Brisbane on Wednesday. I helped her organise for a southbound Bibbulmun hike she is starting on Monday. Annie and I have her bike and extra gear and are taking it home for storage.
      When she finishes she will spend a few days with us and reorganize. Then she will cycle from Albany to Adelaide.
      Amazing lady.
      Resident Australian, proving being a grumpy old man is not just an American trait.

    • grayblazer wrote:

      I saw the Bryson movie. It wasn't so much about the AT. I don't think they showed much of the AT. It was more about a walk in the woods and when you are in the woods, you miss your home and family and when you get home you miss walking in the woods and so on and so on. That's why they don't pay me to be a movie critic.

      Nick Nolte was funny.
      But that is what I read! I wasn't looking for a guidebook when I started reading it.
      Cheesecake> Ramen :thumbsup:

    • max.patch wrote:

      psa -- its probably not a good idea to demonstrate how a safety works by putting your gun to your head and pulling the trigger. that is all.

      ktar.com/story/610481/man-shoo…to-show-gun-wouldnt-fire/
      It could be worse...I shot myself in the back once. Hope I didn't load one up for the anti-guns guys with that statement...I could certainly come up with a few good ones.
      I may grow old but I'll never grow up.

    • Several years ago I was unlucky enough to be chosen to help the Chief teach a gun safety class to a bunch of civilians. The final day of the class included time at the firing range. One of the participants was a MILF. The Chief paid a lot of special attention to her. During the live fire her pistol failed to fire. The stupid Chief took her gun, turned it toward himself, and looked down the barrel. Lucky for his dumbass it wasn't a hang fire.
      RIAP

      The post was edited 1 time, last by Trebor ().

    • This past Sunday's Parade (magazine in the newspaper) cover story was on the AT. They interviewed EB (Early Bird) who was at 3 Springs Hostel with me. I was excited and told my wife they interviewed a woman I had slept with. She said I might want to word that differently. :)
      The road to glory cannot be followed with much baggage.
      Richard Ewell, CSA General

      The post was edited 1 time, last by Astro ().

    • Trebor wrote:

      Several years ago I was unlucky enough to be chosen to help the Chief teach a gun safety class to a bunch of civilians. The final day of the class included time at the firing range. One of the participants was a MILF. The Chief paid a lot of special attention to her. During the live fire her pistol failed to fire. The stupid Chief took her gun, turned it toward himself, and looked down the barrel. Lucky for his dumbass it wasn't a hang fire.
      Let's not forget about that gun range "instructor" last year who was accidentally killed by a very young girl just having some fun with an automatic rifle. Darwin Award time.

    • I used to buy 'dumb politicians', 'dumb criminals' type books.

      One of the books I bought told of a police officer in the Phillipines who blew himself up.

      A bomb had been found. It was decided by the police chief that it would be used to train the trainees at the police academy on how to difuse a bomb. It was placed on a table.

      Bleachers were put up a 'safe distance away'.

      A police sergeant, many year experience on the bomb disposal squade, saw a string hanging off one side of the box. He moved the string so it would look neater for the cameras. Unfortunately for him, the terrorists had chosen that as the ignition method. He was vaporized.

      Two, or more ( the survivors weren't sure how many were involved) men in a bar in Europe put a land mine under the table in the bar and took turns stomping on it. The staff and other customers dived out windws and doors to get away... one of the men must have rather soon after that activated it. After the smoke cleared from the explosion, police went inside the bar. Nothing much remained of the men. Apparently it was a mine designed to disable tanks.
      --
      "What do you mean its sunrise already ?!", me.

    • 1. When she tried to sing, it sounded like a walrus giving birth to farm equipment.


      2. Her eyes twinkled, like the moustache of a man with a cold.


      3. She was like a magnet: Attractive from the back, repulsive from the front.


      4. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.


      5. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room temperature Canadian beef.


      6. She had him like a toenail stuck in a shag carpet.


      7. The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object.


      8. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.


      9. Her eyes were like the stars, not because they twinkle, but because they were so far apart.
      10. His career was blowing up like a man with a broken metal detector walking through an active minefield.


      11. The sun was below the watery horizon, like a diabetic grandma easing into a warm salt bath.


      12.
      From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie,
      surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and
      Jeopardy comes at a 7:00 p.m. Instead of 7:30.


      13. It was as easy as taking candy from a diabetic man who no longer wishes to eat candy.


      14. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes before it throws up.

      more below:

      tickld.com/x/jaw/21-actual-ana…alogies&ts_pid=2&ts_pid=2
      its all good

    • hikerboy wrote:

      1. When she tried to sing, it sounded like a walrus giving birth to farm equipment.


      2. Her eyes twinkled, like the moustache of a man with a cold.


      3. She was like a magnet: Attractive from the back, repulsive from the front.


      4. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.


      5. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room temperature Canadian beef.


      6. She had him like a toenail stuck in a shag carpet.


      7. The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object.


      8. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.


      9. Her eyes were like the stars, not because they twinkle, but because they were so far apart.
      10. His career was blowing up like a man with a broken metal detector walking through an active minefield.


      11. The sun was below the watery horizon, like a diabetic grandma easing into a warm salt bath.


      12.
      From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie,
      surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and
      Jeopardy comes at a 7:00 p.m. Instead of 7:30.


      13. It was as easy as taking candy from a diabetic man who no longer wishes to eat candy.


      14. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes before it throws up.

      more below:

      tickld.com/x/jaw/21-actual-ana…alogies&ts_pid=2&ts_pid=2
      You had me goin' on that one. I thought it was a poem about Caitlyn.
      Changes Daily→ ♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫ ♪♫♪♫♪♫ ← Don't blame me. It's That Lonesome Guitar.

    • Tom finally decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was cleaning one of his cars for an upcoming show. His wife was standing there at the bench watching him. After a long period of silence she finally speaks.
      “Honey, I’ve been thinking, now that we are married, maybe it’s time you quit spending all your time out here in the garage and you should consider selling your cars and your gun collection.”
      Tom gets a horrified look o...n his face.
      She says, “Darling, what’s wrong?”
      “There for a minute you were starting to sound like my ex-wife.”
      “Ex wife!”, she screams, “YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!!!!!!!”
      Tom’s reply: “I wasn’t
      Changes Daily→ ♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫ ♪♫♪♫♪♫ ← Don't blame me. It's That Lonesome Guitar.