At a celebration of their 50th year of marriage, the old husband was approached by a twenty-something with a question. "What is the secret? How did you two stay so happy for so long? Please, I just married last week, so I really need to know."
The husband looked off in to the distance with a look of pure joy and nostalgia as he began to speak. "It all goes back to our honeymoon. We visited the Grand Cannon, first stop on a month long road trip..."
The newlywed chimed in, "Oh, I see, you guys got used to spending lots of time together!"
"It was actually a bit simpler than that." The old man took on an earnest look as he began to recall, "We rented some pack mules to carry supplies and we each rode one as we descended in to the beautiful landscape. Well, the mule my wife was riding hit a big rock in the trail, stumbled, and sent her flying right of its back. She just stood up quietly, brushed herself off, grabbed the reins and told the mule 'That's one.' I had no idea what she was talking about, I was just glad she wasn't hurt. Well, a short time later, as we were riding along the side of a stream, the mule she was riding became startled by a large insect and wound up tossing my wife in the air. She landed flat on her back, but got up quietly, dusted herself off, walked back to the mule and said, 'That's two.' By now I was a bit confused as to why she was counting to a mule, but I was more concerned about getting her different one to ride - but she refused, saying she was okay with things for now. Well, a bit later we were headed up another hill to camp for the evening when that dumb mule hit another rock and, once again, sent my wife flying. Except this time, after getting up and dusting herself off, she said nothing to the mule. She just calmly took her backpack off, pulled out a .357 magnum and shot the mule in the head."
By now the young newlywed man was wide-eyed and asking, "Then what happened?"
"Well," continued the 50-year marriage veteran, "I began to shout at her. I asked her what in the hell she was doing and did she know how much trouble we could get in? I asked her how she could do something so stupid, and then nearly at the top of my lungs, I asked her what in the hell was wrong with her?"
By now the young man looked a bit confused. He asked, "Wait, how did that help your marriage?"
The old man tilted his head back and spoke in a tone that only the truly battle-tested are able to vocalize as he departed 50 years of wisdom upon the young newlywed standing before him. "It was all pretty simple, really. After I got done yelling and calling her names, she just looked softly over at me and said, 'That's one.' And we've been quite happily married ever since!"
The husband looked off in to the distance with a look of pure joy and nostalgia as he began to speak. "It all goes back to our honeymoon. We visited the Grand Cannon, first stop on a month long road trip..."
The newlywed chimed in, "Oh, I see, you guys got used to spending lots of time together!"
"It was actually a bit simpler than that." The old man took on an earnest look as he began to recall, "We rented some pack mules to carry supplies and we each rode one as we descended in to the beautiful landscape. Well, the mule my wife was riding hit a big rock in the trail, stumbled, and sent her flying right of its back. She just stood up quietly, brushed herself off, grabbed the reins and told the mule 'That's one.' I had no idea what she was talking about, I was just glad she wasn't hurt. Well, a short time later, as we were riding along the side of a stream, the mule she was riding became startled by a large insect and wound up tossing my wife in the air. She landed flat on her back, but got up quietly, dusted herself off, walked back to the mule and said, 'That's two.' By now I was a bit confused as to why she was counting to a mule, but I was more concerned about getting her different one to ride - but she refused, saying she was okay with things for now. Well, a bit later we were headed up another hill to camp for the evening when that dumb mule hit another rock and, once again, sent my wife flying. Except this time, after getting up and dusting herself off, she said nothing to the mule. She just calmly took her backpack off, pulled out a .357 magnum and shot the mule in the head."
By now the young newlywed man was wide-eyed and asking, "Then what happened?"
"Well," continued the 50-year marriage veteran, "I began to shout at her. I asked her what in the hell she was doing and did she know how much trouble we could get in? I asked her how she could do something so stupid, and then nearly at the top of my lungs, I asked her what in the hell was wrong with her?"
By now the young man looked a bit confused. He asked, "Wait, how did that help your marriage?"
The old man tilted his head back and spoke in a tone that only the truly battle-tested are able to vocalize as he departed 50 years of wisdom upon the young newlywed standing before him. "It was all pretty simple, really. After I got done yelling and calling her names, she just looked softly over at me and said, 'That's one.' And we've been quite happily married ever since!"
HAPPY SATURDAY, EVERYONE!
(Now, get outside!)
(Now, get outside!)
*
For once I'd just like to hear myself say, "Great job, self! Why don't you just take the day off."
For once I'd just like to hear myself say, "Great job, self! Why don't you just take the day off."