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A place for jokes
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Do your duty in all things. You cannot do more, you should never wish to do less. - Robert E. Lee
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Not a hiking joke, but my High School music teacher/string quartet coach died recently and I played in her memorial concert. So in her honor I will post her favorite joke. I probably heard her tell this joke a thousand times. It was always quite a performance. She was Jewish, so you need to do the dialog with a Yiddish accent for the full effect.
A man goes to a restaurant for lunch and orders soup. After serving the soup, the waiter comes by to check on the man.
Waiter (questioning): So how is everything?
Man (points to his soup bowl, then pauses for dramatic effect and says): Taste the soup.
Waiter (looking confused): Is something wrong?
Man (gesturing and speaking more insistently): Taste the soup!
Waiter (defensively): But sir I'm sure the soup is fine. This is our chef's specialty. We serve hundreds of bowl every day. Everyone loves this soup.
Man (most insistently and deliberately): TASTE THE SOUP!!
Waiter (compliantly): OK OK - I'll taste the soup. (looking at table confused) There's .... no spoon.
Man (wagging finger with grin of satisfaction): Aha! -
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Remember not to expose your nuts....
[IMG:http://www.crossbowpredators.com/attachments/squirrel-bad-day-png.560/]Be wise enough to walk away from the nonsense around you! -
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jimmyjam wrote:
I've heard of hanging upside down by your nut sack to get something done but ouch that looks painful.
You can understand this - he was working for bird seed.Be wise enough to walk away from the nonsense around you! -
Wise Old Owl wrote:
Remember not to expose your nuts....
[IMG:http://www.crossbowpredators.com/attachments/squirrel-bad-day-png.560/]
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Drybones wrote:
Storm Pooper?
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Okay, a fart joke. Bwahahahaha !
A city bus is going down the street making several stops. Only one seat left, so the little old lady sits down next to the big very ugly biker.
He is polite, says hello, she sits down.
As the bus goes along, there is a very loud juicy fart.
The entire bus hears it.
After a slight pause, the biker says, "Don't say anything little old lady, and they'll think I did it.".--
"What do you mean its sunrise already ?!", me. -
And here is the sequel to the soup joke (also from my music teacher).
After he gets a spoon to eat his soup, the man goes on a around the world trip. Being a man of faith, he always took time during his travels to find a synagogue to celebrate the Sabbath, and because of the Jewish diaspora, he was alwsys able to find a Synagogue no matter where in the world he was. However, one Friday afternoon he found himself in a small village in a remote corner of China and thought that for the first time he was not going to find a synagogue by sundown. But then, low and behold, he turns the corner and sees a humble building with a Star of David. Excited about his good fortune, he goes in and sees a Chinese man arranging chairs. He asks if he is the rabbi, but quickly realizes that the rabbi speaks no English. Since he speaks no Chinese, he tries asking in Hebrew. The Chinese man's eyes light up and in Hebrew explains he is the synagogue's rabbi and is setting up for the Sabbath. Then with a puzzled look he asks "How is it you speak Hebrew?" The man says that where he comes from all Jew speak at least some Hebrew. The Chinese man says "You're Jewish?? That's funny you don't look it". -
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Be wise enough to walk away from the nonsense around you!
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Happy Thanksgiving
[IMG:https://rlv.zcache.co.uk/funny_brown_bear_eating_hiker_cartoon_postcard-r43433c09bd8a4b04b005486461d6d2fa_vgbaq_8byvr_324.jpg] Happy Thanksgiving folks... I hope you had a stellar weekend with your family.Be wise enough to walk away from the nonsense around you! -
Be wise enough to walk away from the nonsense around you!
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If I stepped on this banana it would be more appealing.
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WanderingStovie wrote:
If I stepped on this banana it would be more appealing.
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meat wrote:
WanderingStovie wrote:
If I stepped on this banana it would be more appealing.
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Wait for the end.... OMG~
Be wise enough to walk away from the nonsense around you! -
Can I borrow a pole? I found a piñata.
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WanderingStovie wrote:
Can I borrow a pole? I found a piñata.
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WanderingStovie wrote:
Can I borrow a pole? I found a piñata.
If it is a nest of something that sings I would probably light it on fire instead of hitting it with a pole.The road to glory cannot be followed with much baggage.
Richard Ewell, CSA General -
Astro wrote:
WanderingStovie wrote:
Can I borrow a pole? I found a piñata.
If it is a nest of something that sings I would probably light it on fire instead of hitting it with a pole.
Some bright colored spray paint could make it look more like a piñata. -
WanderingStovie wrote:
Astro wrote:
WanderingStovie wrote:
Can I borrow a pole? I found a piñata.
Some bright colored spray paint could make it look more like a piñata.
The road to glory cannot be followed with much baggage.
Richard Ewell, CSA General -
Astro wrote:
WanderingStovie wrote:
Astro wrote:
WanderingStovie wrote:
Can I borrow a pole? I found a piñata.
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I had to post this one here!
A hiker who cooks beans and peas in the same pot is very unsanitary.
LOL!www.appalachiantrailclarity.com - Life on the A.T.
Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself. -
Advice for old guys....
[IMG:https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0/?ui=2&ik=f09dbee697&view=fimg&th=1598e66f449efae3&attid=0.0.1.1&disp=emb&attbid=ANGjdJ920pktZuwNcRwq3YgcOuO3Z5dMeMftISm3bptGUNXfZD8chWLNG46WIHHFdQl_0R6XBbA3V_-9IwSqGcTLr6a-IkZdm9HkItmS_kOPI-FRng3E2V9MvkF0uYE&sz=w810-h1210&ats=1484186226541&rm=1598e66f449efae3&zw&atsh=1]I was working out at the gym the other day when I spotted a sweet young thing walking in.... [IMG:https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0/?ui=2&ik=f09dbee697&view=fimg&th=1598e66f449efae3&attid=0.0.1.2&disp=emb&attbid=ANGjdJ_SaYlyv59peAc3T_hp6M3800EGJeicJgHKeAAvBNpgN7x8yShI7aKkVFI7i73IkkrZ5jm5UbjS9KjPW-NHy88YH7OWlqapJABgNbng5xpTkzWBvYt_WSA1vEI&sz=w810-h1210&ats=1484186226542&rm=1598e66f449efae3&zw&atsh=1]I asked the trainer standing next to me,"What machine should I use to impress thatlady over there?"
The trainer looked me over and said; "I would
recommend the ATM in the lobby."
[/quote]Be wise enough to walk away from the nonsense around you! -
I apologies the above thread.. to me it is all about the psychology of the thread.Be wise enough to walk away from the nonsense around you!
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"Rafe" posted this on TOS, I though it funny and thought of TJ
lefthandedtoons.com/toons/drew_chopsticks.gif -
meat wrote:
"Rafe" posted this on TOS, I though it funny and thought of TJ
lefthandedtoons.com/toons/drew_chopsticks.gif
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WanderingStovie wrote:
meat wrote:
"Rafe" posted this on TOS, I though it funny and thought of TJ
lefthandedtoons.com/toons/drew_chopsticks.gif
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Overheard in church from the front pew between two men... "So how are you doing with the girlfriends?" the reply was stunning...
"Not to good, even Seri wouldn't talk to me."Be wise enough to walk away from the nonsense around you! -
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JimBlue wrote:
max.patch wrote:
alexa tells me a joke every morning, but they are not appropriate to post here.
too clean.
Display Spoiler It had corns. -
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