Backstory (long and drawn out so skip to "Story" if you feel so inclined, lol): I fell in love with my wife when we were in the second grade. Never bothered to tell her that, but I was smitten and that was good enough for me. 4th grade year my wife was in a house fire. She was helping her Grandmother clean heart pine floors with kerosene in a rental house and they had been told the pilot light was out. It wasn't. Her Grandmother rolled Sherri up in her dress and ran outside. Sherri was burned on her legs (you can still to this day see the ribs and hem of the socks she was wearing) and her Grandmother was burned bad and died 9 days later. Sherri was in the hospital for 2 weeks and a few days after the fire I broke the hell outta my left arm and wound up in the same hospital. I managed to talk my way in to see her (I mean, what nurse is gonna get in the way of young love, right?). She had been in the hospital for a week when our teacher, Mrs. Lowe (the same teacher who made me write 100 times "I must not say the word pregnant"....), had the class make a giant card to send her. When we bought the house we live in now and were packing to move we found found the card. I had not seen it since that day in 4th grade. Everyone signed it with the usual "get well" stuff, except me; I wrote, "I was the only one that cared enough to break their arm so they could come see you". Smooth I tell ya, smooth.
All through Middle and High School my mind never changed. She was perfect. But, for whatever reason, I could never tell her that. I dated others, but always halfheartedly because no one could measure up to her. This was actually a blessing once I realized what was up because I could talk to any girl like I had known her forever because I already knew she wasn't the one. Good for conquest, bad for filling the void....
Finally, as I was nearing the end of my 6 year enlistment in the Navy (I'm now 27) I had a decision to make. I could stay in, which I was not averse to, or I could get out and change direction. I wasn't changing direction unless she was involved in said direction so I called my mom and got Sherri's number. My mom also informed she that she was engaged. No worries. I came home for a long weekend and called and asked her out. She never mentioned she was engaged. When it came time for me to leave I went by and saw her. Just as it was time to go she says she has something to tell me. I told her, "I already know. I knew it before I called. I also know that if he was the one then you would have told me before now". "Call me as soon as you get there, regardless of the time" was her reply. Bam! I'm in, lol. 2 weeks later I was home again, sitting on the foot of her bed painting her toenails with headphones on blaring while she broke it off with him over the phone. A year and half later we were married and one week from today will be 21 years.
Story: My wife is a HS math teacher and this morning I knew she had first period planning so I decided to do a little text flirting and sent her the following, "9x - 7i > 3(3x-7u)". When you solve the inequality for "i" you get "i<3u". I didn't tell her to solve for "i", I knew she would solve for "i" because she has a mechanical math mind and would immediately go for the first variable to the left of the inequality sign.The resulting text string.......
Sherri: i<3u
Me: WooHoo!
Sherri: Did you get it right?
Me: You know I did, want me to show my work?
Sherri: Yes, you have to prove it!
Me: I have no problem with that....hurry home.
Bam! I'm in, lol. She texts me after school and asks if I'm still home. "Yep". "On my way". Damn I'm good.....
She comes in and says let's go get something to eat. Hmmm, says I, what's she got up her sleeve? After we order she asks, "What was up with that equation this morning? That's child's play, you can solve that in your sleep, you didn't need my help". Sigh.....Hello, you're kidding me right? She wasn't. I had to explain it to her.
And women have the audacity to wonder why we men are so simple (titties and beer)??? That's akin to holing up in seclusion for several years and writing the novel to trump all novels only to step out and find that the only people left in the world are all Chinese and there's no translators.
Sad I tell you, sad.
So anyway, that was my day. Carry on, lol.
All through Middle and High School my mind never changed. She was perfect. But, for whatever reason, I could never tell her that. I dated others, but always halfheartedly because no one could measure up to her. This was actually a blessing once I realized what was up because I could talk to any girl like I had known her forever because I already knew she wasn't the one. Good for conquest, bad for filling the void....
Finally, as I was nearing the end of my 6 year enlistment in the Navy (I'm now 27) I had a decision to make. I could stay in, which I was not averse to, or I could get out and change direction. I wasn't changing direction unless she was involved in said direction so I called my mom and got Sherri's number. My mom also informed she that she was engaged. No worries. I came home for a long weekend and called and asked her out. She never mentioned she was engaged. When it came time for me to leave I went by and saw her. Just as it was time to go she says she has something to tell me. I told her, "I already know. I knew it before I called. I also know that if he was the one then you would have told me before now". "Call me as soon as you get there, regardless of the time" was her reply. Bam! I'm in, lol. 2 weeks later I was home again, sitting on the foot of her bed painting her toenails with headphones on blaring while she broke it off with him over the phone. A year and half later we were married and one week from today will be 21 years.
Story: My wife is a HS math teacher and this morning I knew she had first period planning so I decided to do a little text flirting and sent her the following, "9x - 7i > 3(3x-7u)". When you solve the inequality for "i" you get "i<3u". I didn't tell her to solve for "i", I knew she would solve for "i" because she has a mechanical math mind and would immediately go for the first variable to the left of the inequality sign.The resulting text string.......
Sherri: i<3u
Me: WooHoo!
Sherri: Did you get it right?
Me: You know I did, want me to show my work?
Sherri: Yes, you have to prove it!
Me: I have no problem with that....hurry home.
Bam! I'm in, lol. She texts me after school and asks if I'm still home. "Yep". "On my way". Damn I'm good.....
She comes in and says let's go get something to eat. Hmmm, says I, what's she got up her sleeve? After we order she asks, "What was up with that equation this morning? That's child's play, you can solve that in your sleep, you didn't need my help". Sigh.....Hello, you're kidding me right? She wasn't. I had to explain it to her.
And women have the audacity to wonder why we men are so simple (titties and beer)??? That's akin to holing up in seclusion for several years and writing the novel to trump all novels only to step out and find that the only people left in the world are all Chinese and there's no translators.
Sad I tell you, sad.
So anyway, that was my day. Carry on, lol.
If your Doctor is a tree, you're on acid.
