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Winter Camping Application

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    • Winter Camping Application

      Winter Camping Application
      It is always fun to take a novice winter camping. Expectations are all over the place. We had a lot of fun sitting around a fire at night discussing why we go winter camping and what our expectations where and how much can we get the new (or youngest) person to put up with. Not that anyone would admit to wandering around unable to locate the trail head, but most of these strike close to home and come from past experiences.
      Please answer the following questions to the best of your ability. There is no scoring system, penalty or reward. But if you think you have the right stuff we will take a look at your application and post the good stuff. Hopefully, we will all share a chuckle.

      I want to go winter camping because:
      1. I enjoy winter camping
      2. I like doing manly things with manly men
      3. It gives me and my friends something to talk about
      4. I have no idea what I am getting myself into
      5. There is a hotel there right?
      In the morning I like to:
      1. Relax in my sleeping bag with a warm cup of coffee
      2. Rave one of my fellow campers cook me breakfast so that I can have breakfast in bed
      3. Get up and start the stove so that everyone has hot water for their breakfast
      4. Get the heck out of there and drive to the diner
      Which of the following best describes your level of camping experience?
      1. I have never peed outdoors
      2. I have never slept on the ground
      3. I have never camped in a place without and outhouse
      4. I have gone camping several times just not in the winter
      5. I have gone winter camping and wish to do more
      6. Just call me Rip Van Winkle


      What is your personal space limitation when sleeping with strangers?
      1. I have none
      2. It is measured in inches
      3. It is measured in feet
      4. It is proportional to temperature
      5. …before I answer when was the last time they changed their poly pro long johns?
      Do you snore?
      1. Never
      2. Sometimes a light snore
      3. Constant
      4. Prodigiously with volume
      Are you bothered by snoring? __Yes or __No
      When setting off on your last backpacking trip which of the following best describes you?
      1. I went through my equipment list and consulted my trail guide and maps
      2. I asked my companions if we had everything and knew where we were going
      3. I figured we were only going for one night and someone must know where we are going
      4. I shouldered my pack and wandered around the parking lot looking for a trailhead sign
      While getting ready to head off on a trip it is realized that some heavy cook pots still need to be put in someone’s pack. Your response would be:
      1. I’m a strong young buck, I’d be happy to carry it
      2. Give it to the boy. He won’t carry his own weight but maybe he will carry someone else’s
      3. Why do we need to carry all these pots and pans just to cook hot dogs?
      4. Cast iron pots? I only carry ultra-light titanium pots. Sure they cost a little more but it is all in the name of comfort
      In the middle of the night you wake up to the sound of rustling outside the tent/lean-to. What is your response?
      1. Pull the sleeping bag further over your head and lay as still as possible
      2. Jump up, flashlight in hand and search the darkness for the source of the sound
      3. Go about your normal sleeping believing it is one of your fellow campers stumbling around outside looking for a suitable spot to pee
      4. Throw a wild elbow or foot toward your neighbor because you believe it is just another of their persistent and nasty body habits
      5. It shouldn’t be a problem since you normally leave a candle lantern burning and sleep with a gun



      Winter Camping Application
      It is always fun to take a novice winter camping. Expectations are all over the place. We had a lot of fun sitting around a fire at night discussing why we go winter camping and what our expectations where and how much can we get the new (or youngest) person to put up with. Not that anyone would admit to wandering around unable to locate the trail head, but most of these strike close to home and come from past experiences.
      Please answer the following questions to the best of your ability. There is no scoring system, penalty or reward. But if you think you a have the right stuff we will take a look at your application and post the good stuff. Hopefully, we will all share a chuckle.
      I want to go winter camping because:
      1. I enjoy winter camping
      2. I like doing manly things with manly men
      3. It gives me and my friends something to talk about
      4. I have no idea what I am getting myself into
      5. There is a hotel there right?
      In the morning I like to:
      1. Relax in my sleeping bag with a warm cup of coffee
      2. Rave one of my fellow campers cook me breakfast so that I can have breakfast in bed
      3. Get up and start the stove so that everyone has hot water for their breakfast
      4. Get the heck out of there and drive to the diner
      Which of the following best describes your level of camping experience?
      1. I have never peed outdoors
      2. I have never slept on the ground
      3. I have never camped in a place without and outhouse
      4. I have gone camping several times just not in the winter
      5. I have gone winter camping and wish to do more
      6. Just call me Rip Van Winkle


      What is your personal space limitation when sleeping with strangers?
      1. I have none
      2. It is measured in inches
      3. It is measured in feet
      4. It is proportional to temperature
      5. …before I answer when was the last time they changed their poly pro long johns?
      Do you snore?
      1. Never
      2. Sometimes a light snore
      3. Constant
      4. Prodigiously with volume
      Are you bothered by snoring? __Yes or __No
      When setting off on your last backpacking trip which of the following best describes you?
      1. I went through my equipment list and consulted my trail guide and maps
      2. I asked my companions if we had everything and knew where we were going
      3. I figured we were only going for one night and someone must know where we are going
      4. I shouldered my pack and wandered around the parking lot looking for a trailhead sign
      While getting ready to head off on a trip it is realized that some heavy cook pots still need to be put in someone’s pack. Your response would be:
      1. I’m a strong young buck, I’d be happy to carry it
      2. Give it to the boy. He won’t carry his own weight but maybe he will carry someone else’s
      3. Why do we need to carry all these pots and pans just to cook hot dogs?
      4. Cast iron pots? I only carry ultra-light titanium pots. Sure they cost a little more but it is all in the name of comfort
      In the middle of the night you wake up to the sound of rustling outside the tent/lean-to. What is your response?
      1. Pull the sleeping bag further over your head and lay as still as possible
      2. Jump up, flashlight in hand and search the darkness for the source of the sound
      3. Go about your normal sleeping believing it is one of your fellow campers stumbling around outside looking for a suitable spot to pee
      4. Throw a wild elbow or foot toward your neighbor because you believe it is just another of their persistent and nasty body habits
      5. It shouldn’t be a problem since you normally leave a candle lantern burning and sleep with a gun


      Shamelessly stolen from the Winter Campers web site Cof124
    • 41554N133, or:

      I want to go winter camping because: I always forget how much the last time sucked.

      I do like a cuppa cawfee in the sleeping bag but seldom have the opportunity. More often I have a hiking partner unceremoniously dump me out, "How long are you going to sleep, Kevin? We gotta get moving!" I pack up the sleeping bag while the water for breakfast and my partner's temper are both coming to the boil, and drink my coffee from a Nalgene while walking. Yeah, I'm that guy.

      I have gone winter camping and wish to do more - because I've forgotten how much the last time sucked.

      Sleeping with strangers - buttoning up my tent is probably warmer, and it means that I'm awakened by my partner collapsing my tent around me rather than dumping me out of a nice warm sleeping bag onto the shelter floor.

      Snoring - I don't know, I'm not awake to hear it, and my hiking partners are notorious liars.

      Bothered by snoring - I'm not bothered by much. (On the other hand, I'm pretty bothersome.)

      Setting off on a trip - I'm an engineer, I overplan everything and then forget my spoon.

      Heavy cook pots - on a backpacking trip? Really? I'm not schepping those, if you want them, bring them yourself!

      Rustling outside a tent/lean-to - probably a coon looking to steal my pack or a porkie looking to steal my skivvies or chew my boots. Throw a rock. Bean my hiking partner. Apologize, ineffectively. One fewer person is willing to hike with me. Damned porcupines!
      I'm not lost. I know where I am. I'm right here.