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    • (sung to the tune of Tweeter & the Monkey Man)

      Meatballz and the Ninja Girl were hard up for cash.
      They stayed up all night scheming a Fastest Known Dash.
      On the Appalachian Trail, and the doubts began to whirl.
      For reasons unexplained, folks loathed the Ninja Girl.

      Ninja was a soldier before she went to Springer Mount,
      And found out the hard way, yellow-blazing doesn't count.
      They thought they found a goldmine beating Speed Goat's record time.
      So they posted up a topless pic after mile 2189.

      Then the facts came out, all the way to Maine.
      Bearbait saw her with her thumb out,
      Ninja tried to smear his name.

      I guess I'll go to Georgia, and get myself some sun.
      There is no doubt from most folks that the record wasn't done.
      Some time I think of Meatballz, the social entrepreneur,
      Sometimes I think of nothing but the Ninja attention whore.

      Then the facts came out, all the way to Maine.
      Bearbait saw her with her thumb out,
      Meatballz tried to smear his name.
      Trudgin' along the AT since 2003. Completed Sections: Springer Mountain to Clingmans Dome and Max Patch NC to Gorham NH

      "The days I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations...those are pretty good days." Ray Wylie Hubbard

      The post was edited 1 time, last by StalkingTortoise ().

    • TrafficJam wrote:

      WanderingStovie wrote:

      I lost three toenails on the AT. Can someone top that?
      Lost 4 after my GA section hike. They're starting to look normal again.
      Were you able to ID the cause? Too large of a shoe? When I've lost a nail, usually it's too large of a toe box. However a couple of times it's been due to extended episodes of wet boots.

      Lest we forget.....


      SSgt Ray Rangel - USAF
      SrA Elizabeth Loncki - USAF
      PFC Adam Harris - USA
      MSgt Eden Pearl - USMC

    • Dan76 wrote:

      TrafficJam wrote:

      WanderingStovie wrote:

      I lost three toenails on the AT. Can someone top that?
      Lost 4 after my GA section hike. They're starting to look normal again.
      Were you able to ID the cause? Too large of a shoe? When I've lost a nail, usually it's too large of a toe box. However a couple of times it's been due to extended episodes of wet boots.
      That may be why I have never had one, my wife says I usually wear my shoes too tight.
      The road to glory cannot be followed with much baggage.
      Richard Ewell, CSA General

    • I let my toenails grow too long. One caught in the sock and slowly peeled back. Then it twisted sideways and cut into the adjacent toe. I stubbed another toe hard enough to make me think I cracked the nail. The third was my little toe, which was forced downward while wedged in the toe box, and rubbed the insole, creating a large blister and loosening the nail.
      I am human and I need to be loved - just like everybody else does

    • Dan76 wrote:

      TrafficJam wrote:

      WanderingStovie wrote:

      I lost three toenails on the AT. Can someone top that?
      Lost 4 after my GA section hike. They're starting to look normal again.
      Were you able to ID the cause? Too large of a shoe? When I've lost a nail, usually it's too large of a toe box. However a couple of times it's been due to extended episodes of wet boots.
      No, total surprise. Didn't have problems, got home, toe nails started turning purple. Then lost two of the recently-grown-in as they were soft and vulnerable and got bruised again.
      Lost in the right direction.

    • TrafficJam wrote:

      Dan76 wrote:

      TrafficJam wrote:

      WanderingStovie wrote:

      I lost three toenails on the AT. Can someone top that?
      Lost 4 after my GA section hike. They're starting to look normal again.
      Were you able to ID the cause? Too large of a shoe? When I've lost a nail, usually it's too large of a toe box. However a couple of times it's been due to extended episodes of wet boots.
      No, total surprise. Didn't have problems, got home, toe nails started turning purple. Then lost two of the recently-grown-in as they were soft and vulnerable and got bruised again.
      I'd bet your shoes were too small and the toes hit the shoe end on down hills, that's why REI has that slanted thing to stand on when testing shoes to buy, my wife lost a toe nail on a week end hike that way, mine just end up hurting for several days/weeks but have never fallen off.
      I may grow old but I'll never grow up.

    • I just lost a big toe nail due to an injuey at the last show. Lost many on the trail over the years, Just a little pain when you decide it's time to rip it off. Far worse happened when I switched boots (heavy leathers) about 3/4 way through my hike. Even though they were broken in, my foot had changed. I got blisters under my callouses. I eventually had to cut them with my knife to drain them. Same day I made camp next to a pond & a swim would have fely soooo great. It hurt to much to put my feet in the water.

    • my two large "great" toes, were bad growing up and into my 20's. But mine were too WIDE for the toes, so the inside of the large toenail, grew into the side of the toe! When I was life guarding and then on HS swim team, the constant chlorine kept the infection away. When I hit college, it got bad FAST. A podiatrist "solved" it for good. They numbed up, split the nail, removed it, then they shoot this long term Novocaine and something to "kill" that part of the nail. So now both my toes have these "thinner" nails. You keep it bandaged for a week and then.....no more nail growing that a-way.
      Look into seeing what a podiatrist can do to help you!.
      Pirating – Corporate Takeover without the paperwork

    • rhjanes wrote:

      my two large "great" toes, were bad growing up and into my 20's. But mine were too WIDE for the toes, so the inside of the large toenail, grew into the side of the toe! When I was life guarding and then on HS swim team, the constant chlorine kept the infection away. When I hit college, it got bad FAST. A podiatrist "solved" it for good. They numbed up, split the nail, removed it, then they shoot this long term Novocaine and something to "kill" that part of the nail. So now both my toes have these "thinner" nails. You keep it bandaged for a week and then.....no more nail growing that a-way.
      Look into seeing what a podiatrist can do to help you!.
      if it's what my kid had it's called a phenol wash, the phenol kills the nevre bed so the nail won't grow back. They use the phenol and after a few seconds they give it the "wash" of alcohol I think...phenol is super nasty stuff. Worked at a Chemical plant that made it, they had Gallons of something you were supposed to pour on yourself at certain areas through the plant if ya got this phenol on ya. Problem was the stuff would get airborn from super saturation solutions and crystal grew outta the pipe insulation where ever there was a steam leak, that job sucked!

    • getting back on track and moving from toenails and back to kaiha bertollini and her fastest known time.

      i'm not on any of the AT facebook pages so apologies if this is old news.

      i was curious how kaiha was coming along with the documention of her claimed record hike, so i poked around a bit. didn't see anything one way or the other about her record, but i did see the following posts from her:

      10/28:

      I am pleased to announce that I am extending Hike For Our Lives mission and launching my Yo-Yo tour of every long distance hiking trail in the United States starting January 1st, 2017. I'll be posting as I prepare to go on my hike for our lives fb page and my website.

      www.hikeforourlives.org
      #hikeforourlives #YesAllWomen #BeautifulLikeYourHeartBeat#warriorqueen

      10/31:

      Tent, check, sleeping pad, check, sleeping pad, check, new boots for winter, check. I am all set to officially live out of my backpack until further notice.
      All I need is GPS and I am ready to start the biggest adventure of my life. I encourage people to reach out and come be a part of this venture on the northern half of my journeys as I yo-yo every long-distance trail in the United States.

      Help support as I hike to take a stand against #RapeCulture#Inequality and #Oppression of all kinds.Act and be a part of change that matters by sharing your stories at #Hikeforourlives.org and giving others the courage to speak out and use fitness as a lifestyle to battle PTSD.

      www.hikeforourlives.org
      2,000 miler

    • Not to be a naysayer, as I think the cause is good but so far her cause has looked like a cover to raise money for herself, but it could be a somewhat entertaining circus with possibly a little nudity thrown in to maintain reader interest.
      "Dazed and Confused"
      Recycle, re-use, re-purpose
      Plant a tree
      Take a kid hiking
      Make a difference

    • Yeah, I'll prolly check on the titty committee a bitty...good cause, kinda strange tactics though. I'll donate through my usual channels though, wounded warriors, and my local batered women's shelters. As she's a Veteran and apparently struggling I hope this women gets "straightened out" as they say in the military. Best of luck to her, heck of a bite sh's taking. She seems just pissed off enough or motivated to make it.

      The post was edited 1 time, last by Socks ().

    • max.patch wrote:

      getting back on track and moving from toenails and back to kaiha bertollini and her fastest known time.

      i'm not on any of the AT facebook pages so apologies if this is old news.

      i was curious how kaiha was coming along with the documention of her claimed record hike, so i poked around a bit. didn't see anything one way or the other about her record, but i did see the following posts from her:

      10/28:

      I am pleased to announce that I am extending Hike For Our Lives mission and launching my Yo-Yo tour of every long distance hiking trail in the United States starting January 1st, 2017. I'll be posting as I prepare to go on my hike for our lives fb page and my website.

      www.hikeforourlives.org
      #hikeforourlives #YesAllWomen #BeautifulLikeYourHeartBeat#warriorqueen

      10/31:

      Tent, check, sleeping pad, check, sleeping pad, check, new boots for winter, check. I am all set to officially live out of my backpack until further notice.
      All I need is GPS and I am ready to start the biggest adventure of my life. I encourage people to reach out and come be a part of this venture on the northern half of my journeys as I yo-yo every long-distance trail in the United States.

      Help support as I hike to take a stand against #RapeCulture#Inequality and #Oppression of all kinds.Act and be a part of change that matters by sharing your stories at #Hikeforourlives.org and giving others the courage to speak out and use fitness as a lifestyle to battle PTSD.

      www.hikeforourlives.org
      I wish hwe the best. It will be interesting. Maybe she can borrow Dakota Joes note on his tripple yo-yo since I don't think he will need them for the 3-5 years. Seriously, it sounds like she doesn't have a clue as what she is talking about.

    • Yo-Yo all of them. She doesn't set a time frame. The AT, CDT and the PCT, isn't that around 13,000 to yo-yo them all?
      Interesting that she is saying GPS will be part of this. Glad to hear it. Also, no mention of supported or not. I am assuming supported, with Jenny doing the support. Hope they have a rugged vehicle or even several set up! Reading about JPD's FKT, they killed the family van over all the AT FS roads.
      Should be interesting. Wishing them the best.
      Pirating – Corporate Takeover without the paperwork

    • rhjanes wrote:

      Yo-Yo all of them. She doesn't set a time frame. The AT, CDT and the PCT, isn't that around 13,000 to yo-yo them all?
      Interesting that she is saying GPS will be part of this. Glad to hear it. Also, no mention of supported or not. I am assuming supported, with Jenny doing the support. Hope they have a rugged vehicle or even several set up! Reading about JPD's FKT, they killed the family van over all the AT FS roads.
      Should be interesting. Wishing them the best.
      She didn't limit herself to just the Triple Crown. All long distance trails... Maybe she has aspirations as a politition & is practicing :D

    • The NPS web page says there are 11 National Scenic Trails. The Wikipedia page says they total about 18,734 miles. So to yo-yo you them would hike 37,468 miles. At 50 miles per day that would be 750 days or about 25 months. Of course you would have to add some zero days for transportation between trail heads. If she wants to add the National Historic Trails, that would be a few more years.

    • odd man out wrote:

      The NPS web page says there are 11 National Scenic Trails. The Wikipedia page says they total about 18,734 miles. So to yo-yo you them would hike 37,468 miles. At 50 miles per day that would be 750 days or about 25 months. Of course you would have to add some zero days for transportation between trail heads. If she wants to add the National Historic Trails, that would be a few more years.
      you said trail head....8-)
      bacon can solve most any problem.