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    • Dan76 wrote:

      StalkingTortoise wrote:

      Tuckahoe wrote:

      Coal :whistling:
      2 tons of white ash rice coal is still on my list. I hope it comes before I run out... hate to rely on the electric baseboard heaters!
      And yet another fact I've learned from this forum. Of course I knew about bitimous and anthracite coal but didn't know the further distinctions.
      It is amazing the stuff you can at the cafe, and not just about hiking.
      The road to glory cannot be followed with much baggage.
      Richard Ewell, CSA General

    • Astro wrote:

      Dan76 wrote:

      StalkingTortoise wrote:

      Tuckahoe wrote:

      Coal :whistling:
      2 tons of white ash rice coal is still on my list. I hope it comes before I run out... hate to rely on the electric baseboard heaters!
      And yet another fact I've learned from this forum. Of course I knew about bitimous and anthracite coal but didn't know the further distinctions.
      It is amazing the stuff you can at the cafe, and not just about hiking.
      It's what we do, "a show about nothing" and with that, everything...and anything! :D

    • chief wrote:

      yikes, an educated woman seeking/expecting alimony. somebody pissed her off?

      I don't want to turn this into a pity party for Paul, but since you brought it up... :)

      Colorado law by default for short term marriages of 37 months or more is that the alimony is calculated for 40% of the gross of the monthly income minus 50% of the gross of the lesser income a pro-rated time.

      In our case, the math works out that she is entitled to 25% of my NET monthly income for 16 months. :O The kicker? If I had divorced her at 36 months, I'd own nothing. We've been married legally for 48 months. Yikes!

      Now, alimony is setup this way to be "fair" for certain situations. When a spouse limited their career for the children, took care of the home, and generally had less income potential. usually, but not always, it was the wife in this role.

      It was not meant for a fairly young and very educated person with no debt or children. Alimony is not mandatory..but the spouse can ask for it is they are legally entitled. And she wants every dime she can get...

      So, Paul, what did you do to desserve her wrath ?

      She wanted a provider. I wanted a partner.

      • She refuses to learn how to drive. I run most of the errands by default.
      • I subsidized her with my increasing IT salary. She is content to work her low stress, (4 days a week, long weekend every week, lot of vacation and sick time) and low paying job she had before her masters. I paid most of the expenses. Including a *very* expensive operation for her cat.
      • She had a legitimate operation recently (partial hysterectomy) but because of her masters in HR knows how to work the system. She put herself on Short Term Disability (STD) so she does not have to work
      • She is again seeing that quack in Brazil known as John of God for a month. She visited him twice already. The guy is a charlatan. She spent $2000 on a "Crystal bed" on her last trip. :O She put herself on STD so she has the time to see that quack for a month!
      • Th final straw was when I asked her point blank if she intends to help with a down payment on a home. She basically said no. IF I had bought a home during our marriage, she'd own half of it. She is very smart and knows this.
      • And since picture speaks louder than words, here's an attached photo from my brother's wedding last August that was truly the final nail or perhaps made me wake up. My brother with his lovely wife . See me looking embarrassed off into the corner in the background? See my wife reading a a kindle during the wedding ?!?!!? She read it from the time the wedding started to the end of the reception. See the short, angry woman shooting daggers? That's my mom. :D Remember, I grew up in an Italian Catholic family. She's lucky my Mom did not kill her. ;) Similar behavior has been done since she joined the cult.
      • And I apologize if this is TMI, but we have not been "together" in a certain sense since April 2015. I was calling her my highly subsidized room mate. If I went to a friend's holiday party, she never went for example.


      SOOO..I saw the writing on the wall. A future where I am trapped in a high paying IT career that is not what I want in the long run where she works very lightly if at all. We were going to move to Montana where she assured me she's find a job. Yeah, right.

      MY spider sense finally kicked in.

      Filed for divorce, stupidly agreed to move her to her friend's home in Victor, ID as part of an informal alimony agreement where I'd give a lump sum just so I can move on. Two weeks later she get of a lawyer, she wants more money based on her STD pay..or about one-thirds of my net monthly income. :O she lied, made me a chump (I do keep my word) and now wants more money.

      Why? She is pissed the gravy train is over, she is no longer going to be in MT while I work my ass off, her STD con is coming to an end shortly and frankly she does not want to work.

      Thanks for letting me vent. :)
      Images

      • joey-wedding.jpg

        68.34 kB, 449×600, viewed 278 times

      The post was edited 3 times, last by PaulMags ().

    • Mags, this too shall pass. Best of luck with your lawyer doing his part. But the key is that it is just money for a "relatively" short time. And after that you are free to live a much better life for many many more years to come.
      The road to glory cannot be followed with much baggage.
      Richard Ewell, CSA General

    • chief wrote:

      mags, please accept my apologies, i was being flippant at your expense. i thank my lucky stars i was married and divorced in a state where the judge was free to make a fair settlement.
      No apology needed. Thanks for letting me put down my thoughts.

      The court date is in May. I am hoping we can negotiate something before just so I can move on. Her lawyer is young (maybe 30) and has a slate of volunteer work with women's rights groups on her resume. I'm afraid she's a crusader and is not being practical. I'm probably the evil man whose head she wants to mount on a wall for the poor victimized foreign woman. :)

      My lawyer is a little bit older than myself and she is more practical.

      We'll see.

    • PaulMags wrote:

      chief wrote:

      mags, please accept my apologies, i was being flippant at your expense. i thank my lucky stars i was married and divorced in a state where the judge was free to make a fair settlement.
      No apology needed. Thanks for letting me put down my thoughts.
      The court date is in May. I am hoping we can negotiate something before just so I can move on. Her lawyer is young (maybe 30) and has a slate of volunteer work with women's rights groups on her resume. I'm afraid she's a crusader and is not being practical. I'm probably the evil man whose head she wants to mount on a wall for the poor victimized foreign woman. :)

      My lawyer is a little bit older than myself and she is more practical.

      We'll see.
      Don't get too anxious for it to be over, you might settle for less. It is a tactic to drag it out and frustrate the other party until they give in.

      Edit..have a friend who's going through this and that was her lawyer's tactic and it worked.
      Lost in the right direction.

    • TrafficJam wrote:

      Don't get too anxious for it to be over, you might settle for less. It is a tactic to drag it out and frustrate the other party until they give in.
      Edit..have a friend who's going through this and that was her lawyer's tactic and it worked.

      My lawyer is suggesting much the same thing. I am going for part of the ex's pension, conducting a financial audit (see above about expenditures for the cult) and doing a vocational audit (we feel she is working below her income potential. Esp, again, when he Denver market is 3% unemployment!). Unless she decides to play nice.


      A fine line, though, as legal fees mount up for all this extra work. :O

    • I have friends in CO whereby she is an attorney and he is a blue collar worker. She made the decision to split and filed. He retained a crafty attorney and she now pays him alimony and child support and paid his legal fees...he received custody. As he's honorable, he places the alimony check into a college fund for the child.

      Best fortune on this misfortune. Most of the divorces occurring to friends have been horrific episodes.

      Lest we forget.....


      SSgt Ray Rangel - USAF
      SrA Elizabeth Loncki - USAF
      PFC Adam Harris - USA
      MSgt Eden Pearl - USMC

      The post was edited 1 time, last by Dan76 ().

    • Dan76 wrote:

      StalkingTortoise wrote:

      Tuckahoe wrote:

      Coal :whistling:
      2 tons of white ash rice coal is still on my list. I hope it comes before I run out... hate to rely on the electric baseboard heaters!
      And yet another fact I've learned from this forum. Of course I knew about bitimous and anthracite coal but didn't know the further distinctions.
      it's anthracite. Rice is the size and white ash is the hardness. Red ash is softer and has lower BTU value.
      Trudgin' along the AT since 2003. Completed Sections: Springer Mountain to Clingmans Dome and Max Patch NC to Gorham NH

      "The days I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations...those are pretty good days." Ray Wylie Hubbard

    • PaulMags wrote:

      meat wrote:

      PaulMags wrote:

      Adds a certain flair for sure. The hat, of course.
      I'm assuming that would be Mrs. Mags
      No Mrs. Mags at this point I'm afraid.
      Well, technically there is. Once we negotiate the alimony and sign the paperwork.

      Why a woman with a masters degree, no kids and no debt who chooses to work a low paying government job in the Denver-metro area work environment (around 3% unemployment!) needs alimony..well, that's another story... and why my lawyer and her lawyer are negotiating. :)

      [IMG:https://www.brainyquote.com/photos_tr/en/g/grouchomarx/128095/grouchomarx1.jpg]
      An old friend who has been through the process always like to say this one:

      Q:Why is divorce so expensive?

      A:Because it's worth it.

      :saint:
      Dogs are excellent judges of character, this fact goes a long way toward explaining why some people don't like being around them.

    • SarcasmTheElf wrote:

      Coincidently I was at a the children's science museum/center today with my son and I saw this on the wall:

      :D

      Fond memories! :thumbup:

      I used to spend Saturdays with my children at the Houston Childrens Museum and then on to the Zoo. As they got a little older mixed in the Museum of Natural Science. With four children my wife (stay at home mom then) really appreciated the break.

      Speaking with college freshman son about it a few weeks ago and he felt it helped him learn and appreciate more about everything else in the world.
      The road to glory cannot be followed with much baggage.
      Richard Ewell, CSA General

    • TrafficJam wrote:

      Trillium wrote:

      TJ, Did you get a zipper pull thermometer? If so, do you like it? If so, manufacturer, price, link?
      sorry, just saw this. I have an inexpensive one from REI. Not sure if it's accurate but it's nice to have. It lives attached to my pack.
      Ive thought about smashing it...it pisses me off when I'm cold and shivering and it says 40*.
      Windchill makes a big difference if the wind hits your sleeping bag. I wear two hats and two hoods at night.

    • PaulMags wrote:

      She now wants half my monthly net income month and for me to pay her legal fees.

      Adding ~%30 taxes to make it equivalent to gross income, that's more than she ever earned while working. She never used her master's degree.

      :O
      Refusing to learn to drive is telling.

      I know someone who never learned to drive. A friend once commented that her husband must be very controlling. Ha! more like the other way around...she constantly tells him where to go and when to be there.

      Sorry for your troubles.
      Lost in the right direction.

    • PaulMags wrote:

      She now wants half my monthly net income month and for me to pay her legal fees.

      Adding ~%30 taxes to make it equivalent to gross income, that's more than she ever earned while working. She never used her master's degree.

      :O
      unreal!

      no more mr nice guy. scorched earth!

      best wishes as you unwind this unfortunate situation.
      2,000 miler

    • I got three horoscopes for Mags, (Don't know your b'day so you get all three)... take your pick.

      ...The very best question today just might be, "How can I have the most fun with this?"

      ...Is it stressful? Sure. But it's doable. You can handle it, and you will prevail.

      ...Everyone feels fragile sometimes. When it's them, you have compassion, telling them to take it easy. Do the same when it's you.


      Cof123
      Lost in the right direction.

    • Well, appropriately enough in a twisted way, we finally came to a settlement on Valentine's Day...what I offered back in early October!!! Yeesh. Many thousands of dollars in collective lawyer fees just to get what I promised five months ago. She is spinning the narrative I am the one who backed out of our agreement, but I have emails from her friend admitting she changed her mind. My lawyer and I won three victories recently and she stood to lose more. On my part, it was not worth paying more money just to get the settlement down. She shouldn't be getting any money, but that is not how the alimony laws work in most states. Expensive lesson!

      No matter. Not worth fighting anymore. It is done. Sign the paperwork, cut her a check, we have to file our 2016 taxes together (yeeech! I really don't want to see her...but anything to put this to rest) and no more will she be in my life. Thank f'n god. :)

      The plus side is the lovely woman in the "naughty" hat earlier in the thread insisted I go to her party last night when I wanted to back out. And we are grabbing after work drinks Monday. :)

      Thanks all for playing! ;)

    • PaulMags wrote:

      Well, appropriately enough in a twisted way, we finally came to a settlement on Valentine's Day...what I offered back in early October!!! Yeesh. Many thousands of dollars in collective lawyer fees just to get what I promised five months ago. She is spinning the narrative I am the one who backed out of our agreement, but I have emails from her friend admitting she changed her mind. My lawyer and I won three victories recently and she stood to lose more. On my part, it was not worth paying more money just to get the settlement down. She shouldn't be getting any money, but that is not how the alimony laws work in most states. Expensive lesson!

      No matter. Not worth fighting anymore. It is done. Sign the paperwork, cut her a check, we have to file our 2016 taxes together (yeeech! I really don't want to see her...but anything to put this to rest) and no more will she be in my life. Thank f'n god. :)

      The plus side is the lovely woman in the "naughty" hat earlier in the thread insisted I go to her party last night when I wanted to back out. And we are grabbing after work drinks Monday. :)

      Thanks all for playing! ;)
      Excelent, time to start a new life and maybe one day it won't sting to much. Glad it worked out for you so you don't have to keep suffering the monthly pain of paying out the nose like a good friend of mine did for years. Good luck on the date Mags, maybe you'll get a pitty lay. :D
      Seriously though, all the best

    • PaulMags wrote:




      No matter. Not worth fighting anymore. It is done. Sign the paperwork, cut her a check, we have to file our 2016 taxes together (yeeech! I really don't want to see her...but anything to put this to rest) and no more will she be in my life. Thank f'n god. :)
      you don't HAVE to unless you agreed to do so. married filing separately is an option. probably cost more in taxes but sometimes the cheapest way to go isn't always the best.
      2,000 miler

    • Well, congrats, I guess! Just remember, don't celebrate before the ink is dry...

      As an aside, it seems very odd that alimony is based on net income in CO. That's because alimony is taxable income to the receiving party. In many states it is a simple formula that is gender-neutral. Take the highest gross wage on top and take 30 percent of that. Then take the next gross wage and take 20 percent of that. Subtract the top from the bottom and as long as the top percentage added back to that gross wage doesn't exceed 40 percent of both gross wages combined, that's the amount. The next step is to calculate the number of months to give it. That depends on how long the marriage lasted. 20 years? Alimony for life! 0-5 years, 20 percent of the months married...5-10 years 40 percent of the months married...etc...

      It's about as fair as it can get. A marriage is a joint partnership you asked to be sanctioned by the State. You have to play by the State's rules when you want that union undone. Sorry you've had one of the worst cases of buyer's remorse I've seen in a while...I'd wish you better luck next time, but my motto is "never again".... <X

    • max.patch wrote:

      PaulMags wrote:

      No matter. Not worth fighting anymore. It is done. Sign the paperwork, cut her a check, we have to file our 2016 taxes together (yeeech! I really don't want to see her...but anything to put this to rest) and no more will she be in my life. Thank f'n god. :)
      you don't HAVE to unless you agreed to do so. married filing separately is an option. probably cost more in taxes but sometimes the cheapest way to go isn't always the best.
      When I mentioned I not coming up to Idaho to file taxes with her, her lawyer said "Er, filing separately is fine".

      As an aside, it seems very odd that alimony is based on net income in CO. cossittfamilylaw.com/divorce/maintenance-alimony-calculator/ It just ended be 25-30% of my net income once it was all factored in. As I said, why a person with a master's degree, no debt and no kids who is involved with a cult needs alimony is another story...

      My buddies back East already threatened to punch me out if I ever talk about getting married again.. .:D

    • PaulMags wrote:

      Well, appropriately enough in a twisted way, we finally came to a settlement on Valentine's Day...what I offered back in early October!!! Yeesh. Many thousands of dollars in collective lawyer fees just to get what I promised five months ago. She is spinning the narrative I am the one who backed out of our agreement, but I have emails from her friend admitting she changed her mind. My lawyer and I won three victories recently and she stood to lose more. On my part, it was not worth paying more money just to get the settlement down. She shouldn't be getting any money, but that is not how the alimony laws work in most states. Expensive lesson!

      No matter. Not worth fighting anymore. It is done. Sign the paperwork, cut her a check, we have to file our 2016 taxes together (yeeech! I really don't want to see her...but anything to put this to rest) and no more will she be in my life. Thank f'n god. :)

      The plus side is the lovely woman in the "naughty" hat earlier in the thread insisted I go to her party last night when I wanted to back out. And we are grabbing after work drinks Monday. :)

      Thanks all for playing! ;)
      Glad the ordeal is over for you. Just consider the money well spent to end it. Plus I enjoy your hiking stories far more than hearing about the bitch 8o