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Secret To A Happy Marriage

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    • Secret To A Happy Marriage

      At a celebration of their 50th year of marriage, the old husband was approached by a twenty-something with a question. "What is the secret? How did you two stay so happy for so long? Please, I just married last week, so I really need to know."

      The husband looked off in to the distance with a look of pure joy and nostalgia as he began to speak. "It all goes back to our honeymoon. We visited the Grand Cannon, first stop on a month long road trip..."

      The newlywed chimed in, "Oh, I see, you guys got used to spending lots of time together!"

      "It was actually a bit simpler than that." The old man took on an earnest look as he began to recall, "We rented some pack mules to carry supplies and we each rode one as we descended in to the beautiful landscape. Well, the mule my wife was riding hit a big rock in the trail, stumbled, and sent her flying right of its back. She just stood up quietly, brushed herself off, grabbed the reins and told the mule 'That's one.' I had no idea what she was talking about, I was just glad she wasn't hurt. Well, a short time later, as we were riding along the side of a stream, the mule she was riding became startled by a large insect and wound up tossing my wife in the air. She landed flat on her back, but got up quietly, dusted herself off, walked back to the mule and said, 'That's two.' By now I was a bit confused as to why she was counting to a mule, but I was more concerned about getting her different one to ride - but she refused, saying she was okay with things for now. Well, a bit later we were headed up another hill to camp for the evening when that dumb mule hit another rock and, once again, sent my wife flying. Except this time, after getting up and dusting herself off, she said nothing to the mule. She just calmly took her backpack off, pulled out a .357 magnum and shot the mule in the head."

      By now the young newlywed man was wide-eyed and asking, "Then what happened?"

      "Well," continued the 50-year marriage veteran, "I began to shout at her. I asked her what in the hell she was doing and did she know how much trouble we could get in? I asked her how she could do something so stupid, and then nearly at the top of my lungs, I asked her what in the hell was wrong with her?"

      By now the young man looked a bit confused. He asked, "Wait, how did that help your marriage?"

      The old man tilted his head back and spoke in a tone that only the truly battle-tested are able to vocalize as he departed 50 years of wisdom upon the young newlywed standing before him. "It was all pretty simple, really. After I got done yelling and calling her names, she just looked softly over at me and said, 'That's one.' And we've been quite happily married ever since!"

      HAPPY SATURDAY, EVERYONE!
      (Now, get outside!)
      gif.014.gif
      *

      For once I'd just like to hear myself say, "Great job, self! Why don't you just take the day off."
    • g00gle wrote:

      Now, get outside!
      Just spent the better part of the last 3 days outside.
      Had to go to Montauk Point, on Long Island, to change an engine in a helicopter.
      We worked sun-up to sun-down and then after showering spent the bosses money on food and beer.
      Seemed everybody in town knew what we were doing and wanted to buy us more rounds, so we accepted graciously :)
    • LIhikers wrote:

      g00gle wrote:

      Now, get outside!
      Just spent the better part of the last 3 days outside.Had to go to Montauk Point, on Long Island, to change an engine in a helicopter.
      We worked sun-up to sun-down and then after showering spent the bosses money on food and beer.
      Seemed everybody in town knew what we were doing and wanted to buy us more rounds, so we accepted graciously :)
      'Cause that's the kinda guy you are! :thumbsup:
      Cheesecake> Ramen :thumbsup:
    • Dan76 wrote:

      LIhikers wrote:

      g00gle wrote:

      Now, get outside!
      Just spent the better part of the last 3 days outside.Had to go to Montauk Point, on Long Island, to change an engine in a helicopter.
      Turbine or piston?
      Turbine, a Rolls Royce 250-C47B in a Bell 407 helicopter.
      I love this kind of work and even though I'm 63 I have no plans to retire anytime soon.
      Well, unless I can convince Kathy to let me get away for a 6, or more, month bicycle ride. :rolleyes:
    • LIhikers wrote:

      Dan76 wrote:

      LIhikers wrote:

      g00gle wrote:

      Now, get outside!
      Just spent the better part of the last 3 days outside.Had to go to Montauk Point, on Long Island, to change an engine in a helicopter.
      Turbine or piston?
      Turbine, a Rolls Royce 250-C47B in a Bell 407 helicopter.I love this kind of work and even though I'm 63 I have no plans to retire anytime soon.
      Well, unless I can convince Kathy to let me get away for a 6, or more, month bicycle ride. :rolleyes:
      Fodded?

      Referencing the bike ride...check out crazy guy on a bike. Great forum for jaunts of this type.

      Lest we forget.....



      SSgt Ray Rangel - USAF
      SrA Elizabeth Loncki - USAF
      PFC Adam Harris - USA
      MSgt Eden Pearl - USMC
    • A guy was playing golf with his friends. He was just about to hit his drive off the tee when a funeral motorcade drove by. The man stepped back from the ball, took off his hat, held it over his heart an stood in silence until the motorcade had passed. He then stepped up to the ball and hit a perfect drive down the middle of the fairway. While walking down the fairway the buddy said "It was nice of you to pause and honor the funeral motocade like that." The man said "Well I was married to here for forty years. It was the least I could do."

      The post was edited 1 time, last by odd man out ().

    • Wife asks husband if she died would he remarry. Husband responds I guess I might. She then asks would his new wife live in our house, husband responds I guess so. She then asks would she drive my car, he responds I guess she might if I still had it. Then she asks would she use my new golf clubs, and he says no, she is left handed.
      The road to glory cannot be followed with much baggage.
      Richard Ewell, CSA General
    • jimmyjam wrote:

      The secret is apparently ear plugs.
      My dad had hearing aids late in life.
      There was all hell to pay one dsy when they drove Albany to Perth (250 miles) and at the end of the trip she realized that he had turned the one on her side off. He had just nodded and said yes dear all the way.
      They still managed over 55 years of marriage.
      Resident Australian, proving being a grumpy old man is not just an American trait.
    • LIhikers wrote:

      While we were out for a walk the other day I asked my wife, Kathy, " since global warming is a man made phenomenon, are women exempt from blame?'......I just got The Look. My remark was meant as a joke but I don't think it was seen that way, oh well.
      anthropogenic is the gender neutral term, but you don't hear it used very much. Not as funny for your purpose.